I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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