woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
