i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
