Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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