i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
