whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hippo gnu deer
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
