Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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