my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
