I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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