She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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