I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like abortions should bother me more
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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