honey bunches of taint.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I checked into jail on foursquare
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
