1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
