Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
