How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
babies were throwing up all over the place
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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