The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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