Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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