Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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