i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
