okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
