just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
