office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His hands were made for my vagina.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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