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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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