idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
one two three fourrrrnication!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
