Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
