Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
