Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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