He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
