It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
