When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
