I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
