Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
