You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
