there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need to align my fucking chakras
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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