Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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