hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can't put those talents on a resume
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I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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