Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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