like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
