Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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