Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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