he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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