Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
should my penis look like a turkey
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
