To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
