KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
