I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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