so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
