I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
