i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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