We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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