I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
