I'm going to jail i love you
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
