Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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