I'm jealous of your bromance
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
