I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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