Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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