I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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