We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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