I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
