I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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