I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
