so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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