Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
