I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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